


Just This Once

by 3limas



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Friends, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Halloween, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:28:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22149439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3limas/pseuds/3limas
Summary: Your best friend Jongdae is irresistible during the Halloween party at his place.
Relationships: Kim Jongdae | Chen/Reader, Oh Sehun/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 42





	Just This Once

**Author's Note:**

> Yet another one of these fics, but damn, if I don't love each and every one of them.
> 
> English isn't my first language, so don't hesitate to point out any mistakes, please!

**1\. The pre-party** _  
_

Jongdae placed his hands on your bare thighs. You grabbed onto the brush handle harder and focused on the cute wrinkles that formed around his eyes when he smiled.

There was still a good amount of time left before the party started, so there was no need to rush, but you liked your own witch costume so much you’d put it on after lunch, and you were already wearing it when Jongdae arrived at your house for makeup and hair styling. He hadn’t shown much of a reaction when he’d first seen you, but now that you were sitting in front of him, leaning into his face to properly apply the eyeshadow on him, he was looking you up and down.

“Aren’t you going to be cold?” He asked, rubbing his hands along your thighs.

You had to hold in a bitter sigh. He surely had no idea what his touch did to you. 

“I’m going to put on some tights later. I’m not 16 anymore.” You laughed. “I do feel the cold now.”

Truthfully, long gone were the days of wearing mini skirts with no thighs underneath in the middle of Winter, in hopes of catching Jongdae’s attention. You prioritized comfort, now. 

“Oooh, thigh-high tights?” He asked.

“No, regular opaque tights.”

“Aish, what a pity.” Jongdae said. 

“Excuse you!” you whined, and you jokingly hit his arm.

It’s not like you weren’t used to his constant teasing by now, but that didn’t mean it didn’t drive you mad every time. Ever since he’d gone through puberty, he’d been making that sort of comments about you, and shamelessly so, too. Years and years of hearing similar things coming out of his mouth had been keeping up your hopes of him maybe feeling something different from platonic affection towards you. You couldn’t help it, although you knew it literally made no sense for you to hold onto that hope, especially since, now, in your second year of university, the amount of girls he was hooking up with was starting to become a little too high to keep count, whereas the way he treated you had been unchanging.

The torture was also further aggravated by the fact that Jongdae had a tendency to be VERY vocal during his numerous affairs. For sure you would’ve preferred not to have heard his damned melodious moans when he was having sex in the spare bedroom at a house party, behind the dark dunes of a beach at night, or in a bar’s toilets. He then would make it even worse by appearing before you and all of your mutual friends with his beautiful caramel colored hair disheveled, his skin glowing, and a huge grin on his face, not ashamed in the slightest. And you would spend the following nights alone in your bed, replaying his moans in your head and imagining the one under him was, for once, you. 

Yet you couldn’t find yourself to blame him for being so successful with girls. He was like a ball of sunshine, cheerful, always joking around. He could make even your sternests professors laugh in the middle of a test. He was kind, considerate, generous, and, on top of everything, he was damned handsome, and he knew it. 

At least no one could say you hadn’t made any efforts to forget about him. You had recently lost your virgin status, thanks to your friendly neighbor Oh Sehun, a really handsome guy, in most people’s opinion. You had kissed twice or thrice at different parties during the past year, until he’d taken you home a couple of weekends ago. From the beginning he’d made clear he wasn’t interested in a serious relationship, something you were relieved to hear, much to your dismay, since your relief mostly meant Jongdae had never really left your thoughts. With him, it was always impossible.

“It was about time!” Said Jongdae when you told him you slept with Sehun, and his lips drew a sort of mischievous smile. “Was it good?”

He hadn’t even bothered moving away from your makeup brush, or even opening his eyes to look at you. You felt your stomach plummet. That was a lot more indifference you had expected for such big news. You were almost regretting telling him.

You told each other everything, though. You couldn’t just _not_ tell him you’d had sex for the first time. You’d waited long enough already, since all of your other friends knew by now. 

You bit your lip. At least you could be a little grateful for his closed eyelids, because you were sure you had turned beet red when you succinctly answered: 

“Yeah.”

Jongdae laughed, and there was a teasing tone in his voice when he spoke again. 

“But I mean, was it just good, or was it good, _good_?" 

You blushed even harder at his words.

"It was good, good.” You lied.

“Good.” He said to close the subject, sounding very much like he wasn’t buying your words at all. 

He didn’t push the topic any further after that, sensing you probably didn’t feel like going into much detail about it. It made you both disappointed and relieved.

It wasn’t an easy topic for you, much less one to discuss with him, of all people. He was so experienced, and he knew you so well, that he had you feeling like every word you said would give away a lot more than you intended. Like if you said one certain word in a certain tone of voice maybe he’d, somehow, be able to guess you hadn’t really had an orgasm with Sehun.

And he definitely didn’t need to know that.

Deep down, you knew Jongdae wouldn’t judge for that. Deep down, you wanted to tell him everything about your night with Sehun, even if it was only to force him to imagine you in Sehun’s bed and give him a taste of his own medicine. Except it was obvious it wouldn’t stir up any jealousy in him. His lack of interest was enough proof of that.

You sighed and dipped the makeup brush on the black eyeshadow. Jongdae’s eyes were still closed and his head tilted towards you, waiting for you to continue applying the makeup on him. His hands were now touching the warm soft skin under your knees.

You had no idea how you were going to get over him if he kept nonchalantly touching you like that.

**2\. The Halloween party**

The parties at Jongdae and his housemates’ place were famous around campus for always getting out of hand, and today’s was no exception.

You had no idea he was going to attend too, but you weren’t even surprised to bump into Oh Sehun on your way to the party. He was dressed up as some character from a movie you hadn’t watched. He kindly walked you there while you caught up with each other. He would gladly drive you there, he explained, but he hadn’t brought his car, since he was planning on drinking to his heart’s content. You found your laugh came easily with him, awkwardness from past encounters almost completely forgotten. He was a nice guy, after all, although you felt he was about to pull the “ _You haven’t watched this movie yet? Come home tomorrow after class and we’ll watch it together_ ” move on you, and you weren’t sure how you felt about it.

When you finally arrived, a little later than most guests, Jongdae welcomed you warmly with a big hug and gave Sehun an odd look before letting him inside the house, like it was taking him a few seconds to recognize him.

“You seriously need to reconsider a few things about your life if you’re letting almost-strangers into your house like that.” You said to Jongdae after Sehun had disappeared into the colorful crowd in the living room.

“He’s not a stranger, he knows you! And besides, it’s not that. I was confusing him with one of Minseok’s friends from the soccer club.”

Jongdae helped you out of your coat while he updated you about the whereabouts of your other friends who’d arrived earlier than you. Your housemate had arrived a little earlier, directly from some of your other friends’ house, and they were all currently organizing a drinking game on the dining table.

“You look cute in this costume, by the way” said Jongdae, winking at you while he guided you towards them.

You looked down at your black witch dress. He’d finally noticed! Truthfully, you had picked this particular costume because its shape and flare happened to be perfect for hiding your flaws while highlighting your best features. Jongdae didn’t know much about fashion, though, and it was highly unlikely that he was able to tell why this particular dress looked good on you, but he wasn’t blind, and you were satisfied to hear your choice of costume had been a right one.

You looked up at him with a cheerful smile on your face.

“Thank you!” you answered. “You don’t look too bad yourself!”

 _You don’t look too bad_ could very well be the understatement of the century. He was absolutely stunning in his all black vampire costume, the high collar emphasizing all the masculine lines of his face along with the makeup you had applied on him earlier that afternoon. His golden brown hair was stylishly swept up leaving all of his handsome features on display, giving him some kind of bold aura you couldn’t exactly describe. He sure was bound to hook up with someone tonight.

Jongdae smiled a toothy smile at you, a pair of cute little fake fangs peeking under his upper lip. You had only seen him for a few minutes and, from the way he kept licking them in a sort of naughty expression, you already knew you were about to be distracted by them for the whole evening.

As it turned out, the drinking game your friends were preparing was none other than some variant of spin the bottle that involved alcohol and a pair of dice.

“Spin the bottle? What are we, fifteen?” was complaining someone when you and Jongdae came closer to them.

Yet, after a few shots, no one was complaining anymore, everybody completely hooked on the game’s dynamics. You were starting to get a little tipsy, holding onto your glass while you joined in on all the yelling and laughing. But your laugh was cut short immediately when Oh Sehun, of all people, spinned the bottle and it landed on you.

Before he could stand up to walk around the table, Jongdae, who was standing right behind you, hugged you, placing his arms around your shoulders, and made a dismissing gesture at Sehun, signaling for him to sit back down. 

“Only I can kiss her!” He yelled. And as he said this, he kissed the top of your head. “She’s my girl, understood?!“

Your heart was beating like a drum. You avoided Sehun’s eyes as you let yourself slightly sink back into Jongdae’s embrace. You then felt Jongdae’s voice next to your ear, speaking at a lower volume so that only you could hear him.

“I believe you’d prefer not to repeat the experience, even if you said he was ‘ _good, good’_ , am I wrong?”

God, he _knew_. Of course. It was easy to tell from they way he’d pronounced “good, good”. Plus you could hear the smile in his voice. You closed your eyes and sighed in defeat. This guy knew you better than you knew yourself, and there was nothing you could to about it. You blushed and shook your head subtly. Jongdae hummed in appreciation.

Soon after that, Jongdae disappeared, and it wasn’t until one or two hours had passed that you realized you had been thinking about him and his cute fake vampire fangs the entire night. Unsurprising, on the other hand. It was hard not to think about him when you were drunk. You knew that, and you had been long past the point of tipsiness for a while already. It wasn’t a risky situation, though. You had gotten drunk together plenty of times, and you hadn’t had much of a problem keeping your feelings to yourself, no matter how wasted you were. You sometimes got a little more touchy with him than usual, though, but that was pretty much it.

You spotted Jongdae in the middle of an improvised dance floor, laughing and dancing with his friends, when some girl whose face you’d never seen made a clear attempt to approach him. With the alcohol numbing your thoughts, you quickly walked towards them, stepped in front of her, and wrapped your arms around Jongdae’s neck. Two could play at that game.

“I’m sorry. He’s taken.” You said, smiling while looking at him, but loud enough for the girl to hear.

Jongdae watched the girl presumably turn around and leave, a confused expression on his face the entire time.

“Uhh, next time don’t talk about me like I’m an empty chair at a coffee shop, maybe?” He joked, when he finally figured out what was going on.

You laughed, comforted by his compliance with your antics. He was so sweet.

Feeling emboldened by the fact that he didn’t seem upset at you for ruining a possible chance to get laid, you started dancing with him, your arms still around him. Jongdae put his hands on your hips and cheerfully danced with you, playing around every now and then to make you laugh. 

You’d be lying to yourself if you said you weren’t enjoying having him so close. You had done this countless times before, and it wasn’t like anything bad would happen if you pressed yourself just a bit closer to him. You let yourself get lost in his fresh yet masculine scent and the musk of the perfume he always wore. His embrace was warm, as always; his shoulders, solid; his hands made a funny feeling creep up your spine every time he dragged them from your hips to your waist.

You always felt safe and at ease in his arms, were it dancing or just cuddling on the sofa. That’s why, when he started kissing your neck, you looked around in panic, looking for an explanation.

It wouldn’t be the first time Jongdae danced with you just to make some girl jealous. There must have been someone around he was trying to tease. However, you were only able to spot Oh Sehun, looking in your direction from a few feet away, one eyebrow raised questioningly at the both of you. 

“He really seems to be interested in you.” Jongdae murmured next to your ear.

You really didn’t know what to say for a few seconds, and Jongdae laughed.

“What? You’re considering it?”

You definitely would, if you weren’t in Jongdae’s arms right now, but he didn’t need to know that.

“Not at all!” You finally said. “Please, don’t leave me alone with him.”

“Don’t worry, then.” Jongdae smiled.

You continued to dance with Jongdae, not at all expecting Sehun to actually be interested enough in you to approach you with his hand raised, intending to tap you on the shoulder to get your attention. You looked back at Jongdae with panic. For once, he wasn’t looking very happy, and there was a glint of something in his eyes you couldn’t recognize.

He began to lower his head towards you. You immediately stopped your dancing, paralyzed. His mouth kept descending. He had closed his eyes. His hands grabbed your waist with a lot more firmness. 

You couldn’t believe he really was going to kiss you on the lips just to drive Sehun away, but he was doing it for real. It was real, and it was happening right at that moment. You were kissing Jongdae.

When his soft, warm lips pressed against yours, you felt like crying. Why was he doing this? Why did it have to happen like this? He took a few seconds before his lips parted, his tongue making its way between them to caress the inside of your mouth, which you opened eagerly.

Behind you, you heard howls and cries of disbelief from your friends and Jongdaes’. You closed your eyes as tight as you could so as not to see them. Dealing with your own incredulity was already more than enough.

You put your arms around his neck and pressed him closer to you. He then parted from you for a second, opening his expressionless, glassy eyes to look at you before continuing to kiss you. He was drunk, no doubt. You were _so_ going to regret this the following day. But you were not in the best state of mind right now, and God knew you were desperate to take whatever Jongdae was willing to give you. You briefly wondered whether Sehun would have already left or not.

Jongdae’s lips continued to move against yours slowly, like he was taking his time savoring you. His arms circled around your waist, pressing you closer as if he wanted you to feel his body. That wasn’t really necessary to make a convincing performance, you thought. He must’ve been even drunker than you’d presumed. 

You realized with shame that your panties were already starting to feel uncomfortably wet, such was your weakness towards him. God, you were pathetic. But your inebriated brain shut up all of your apprehensive thoughts immediately when you felt his hardened dick against your belly.

 _Holy shit_. You felt your legs tremble and almost give out under your weight. Was he really feeling like this because of you? Of your kiss? Your body? _You_ had done this? 

You grabbed onto his clothes more eagerly. If he wouldn’t stop, neither would you. He parted from you for a second time and offered you a lopsided smile. Then he bent down again, put his mouth next to your ear and whispered:

“Wanna go upstairs?”

His pronunciation was slurred. Your eyes opened wide at his question. Was the world spinning or were you just drunk? You swore you could feel your legs melt from his rumbling voice next to your ear, and it took you a few seconds to recover from the shock, which he used to start kissing your neck again. You were glad he was busy doing that when you replied a trembling “ok”, because you didn’t think you’d be able to look him in the eyes otherwise.

It wasn’t like you had suddenly sobered up. In fact, that was quite far from being right. The living room was still spinning around you. Your other friends and flatmate’s flabbergasted faces were barely registering in your mind when you walked past them behind Jongdae, holding his hand, watching him as he removed the fake fangs from his mouth and threw them on the floor. They slid under the sofa. You almost tripped climbing up the stairs as you watched the entire scene. You were nearing Jongdae’s bedroom door when he grabbed your head and started kissing you again. You could barely conceal a feverish moan against his lips.

So, it was going to happen. If this wasn’t some sort of cruel joke, or an extremely palpable wet dream, Jongdae was about to take you to his bed and touch you like he touched all those other girls. He was going to moan for you like he moaned for them. 

He pushed you inside without a word, somehow managing to kick the door closed after him, and then continued kissing you until you felt your knees hit the edge of his bed. He laid you down on it, your witch hat uncomfortably poking you in the head until you maneuvered to get it off. It fell to the floor. You looked up while you arduously removed your shoes with your own feet. The ceiling was spinning. 

Not wasting any time, Jongdae placed one of his knees between your legs and pushed upwards, and you moaned shamelessly against his mouth. For a moment, you thought you just saw him smile. 

His hands snaked their way down your body, squeezed your breasts and then continued their way downwards, his thrilling touch engulfing you like a wave. A warm hand touched your bare skin under your dress. You felt goosebumps all over and arched your back. 

How was this fair? He was about to use you like he used all of those girls and yet you couldn’t be more eager about it. The curiosity was too much to bear. You wanted to know exactly what it was that he did with them. You wanted him to do all of it with you too.

You fought with his costume cape until it came off his neck, and you continued by carelessly undoing his shirt buttons. When he noticed you fighting with his shirt, he stopped what he was doing, knelt down on the bed, and hurriedly removed his shirt himself. You felt your mouth water at the sight of lean muscles and beautiful curves. Despite your drunkenness, your eyes immediately focused on his taut abdomen, his happy trail hiding behind the fabric of his pants, the same delicious display you’d spied countless times at the pool or the beach. And you were about to unveil it.

Taking the chance to work on his belt and buttons, you actually managed to undo a few of them and pushed his pants halfway down his butt. Jesus, you were almost there. Except he didn’t let you finish before pushing your elastic dress up your body until you were free from it. 

You breathed and, without any delay, he managed to slip his hand under you and he was already unclasping your bra. At this, you couldn’t help but compare him to Oh Sehun, who had taken numerous tries to properly remove your bra, another bitter reminder of how much of a player Jongdae was. He threw it across the room and then dragged his eyes all over your body.

“You’re so hot.” He said, and immediately he was kissing you again, his hands greedily grabbing at your body, at anywhere he could.

Fuck, yes, you were. You’d made him like this, after all. 

You dragged your hands down his back, pushing him closer to you, already growing used to the delicious sensation of his warm skin against yours.

He was peppering your entire body with wet kisses. He grabbed at your breasts, pressing them together, squeezing and kissing them. You almost missed the way he smiled at your moans when he started sucking on one of your nipples, his soft tongue driving you crazy with wet circles. You squirmed under his touch when he started dragging his hand down your body until he reached your hips. He then hooked his thumb under your tights and panties and started pulling them down. 

You held your breath. God, he was wasting no time at all. He really was fully undressing you, leaving you lying naked before him without sparing a single thought to the fact that this was a first for the both of you.

For a spare second, your heart squeezed in your chest. You’d always dreamed for this moment to be a little more special, a little slower maybe… But then again you were both drunk, what else could you have expected? You could only take it as it was or leave it, and you weren’t about to change your mind.

You flinched involuntarily when the pad of his index finger brushed your wetness, but you tried to force yourself to stay still. And he had the nerve to stop kissing you to say “Hey. It’s just me” with the most annoying smile on his face.

He was looking at your face as intently as a drunk man can, checking on your expression while you felt his fingers playing with your folds, spreading your fluids around but never entering, only mercilessly teasing you. You bit your lip with frustration and closed your eyes.

“Damn, you’re so wet already” came his voice next to your ear, tinged with a playful tone. 

You turned your head to the side, avoiding his gaze, at his words. A part of you was afraid that, with his vast experience, he could tell you were a tad too eager for him. Were you making a fool of yourself? You had been dripping with anticipation ever since he’d kissed you in the living room, after all. Yet, when you looked at him again, the hungry gaze he was directing at you felt foreing, somehow, and you realized it was an expression you’d never seen on your best friend’s face, especially directed at you.

Your stomach did a somersault as you watched Jongdae’s caramel colored hair travel down your body, tickling your belly, until you could feel his breath over your pussy. You closed your eyes tight, suddenly hyper aware of the way your fluids were dripping onto the bed sheets, feeling self conscious, anxious, even in your drunken state, that Jongdae was going to look directly at your privates like that.

For a few seconds, you wondered if he would say anything. The Jongdae you knew wouldn’t miss the opportunity to make a joke, or a funny remark, at the very least, at your expense. However, this Jongdae was looking at your bare center with dilated pupils and his mouth parted open like he was already savoring you, and that’s what made the unexplainable urge to draw your legs closed disappear. 

Jongdae wasted no time before pressing his warm tongue flat on your clit, his fingers still playing around until you felt the tip of his finger slowly enter you. At that, you couldn’t help the sigh that escaped your lips.

He hummed a laugh around your sex as he promptly removed his finger, only to re-enter you with two fingers this time. He curled them inside, earning a loud moan from you and he stopped kissing your clit to laugh briefly and ask:

“You like it like this?”

Your head felt numb. You just nodded and moaned in agreement, writhing under him, grabbing at his hair, pushing his head down until his tongue was tasting you again. You’d felt nothing similar to this with Oh Sehun.

“Let me hear you” he asked, as he pumped his fingers in and out of you; and you couldn’t even do as he said, too busy conjuring curses in your brain directed at his lips for momentarily leaving your pussy. 

But you must have made some kind of noise anyway, because he stopped one more time to say “Yes, just like that”, and you suddenly regained the ability to speak.

“Jongdae, for God’s sake, shut up.” you gasped. 

He immediately lifted his head from you and laughed. 

“Excuse me?” he said. “Who are you telling to shut up?” 

He rose up from between your legs until he was at eye level with you again. There was a playful glint in his eyes when he looked at you, his fingers slowly leaving your center. 

“Do I have to teach you some manners now?” 

You couldn’t help but laugh at his feigned indignation. He’d never looked like the dominant type. Your laugh quickly died in your throat when you became distracted by his charming smile. How he managed to still be so gentle and alluring even when he was intoxicated you’d never understand.

You wanted to hate him for making you laugh, for making you forget that you were currently becoming just another one of many girls for him. You understood now, why all those girls kept coming back to him, if he made them feel this comfortable and at ease. You closed your eyes and sighed as you felt the mattress move and you heard Jongdae rummage around his nightstand. Then you heard a thud and, when you opened your eyes, Jongdae was on the floor, undoubtedly having fallen in his inebriated state. 

“I’m fine!” he said. 

When he raised his hand, he was holding a condom in it. You tried to gulp, but your mouth was dry. You were sobering up by the minute. Was he, too? Or were all of his actions still alcohol-fueled? 

You tried not to think about it as he climbed back up on the bed, wiggling out of his pants on his way. You tried your best —although you didn’t think you were very successful— to hide the way your eyes immediately flew to his dick. Your heart started beating like a hammer in your chest when you finally saw it. It was slightly smaller than you’d imagined, slightly curved, pink at the tip, hard and leaking. Beautiful, just like him. 

The butterflies in your stomach were increasing by the minute as you watched Jongdae fumble with the condom packet and struggle to roll the condom down his dick. He looked at you when he was finished, and you suddenly felt like a deer caught in a car’s headlights. This was really going to happen.

Jongdae was climbing atop you, his hand stroking your leg upwards before settling down on your waist. You seemed to have suddenly forgotten how to move, because Jongdae had to gently caress the inside of your thigh to remind you that you were supposed to open your legs for him and maybe not remain completely still during the act as well. 

You bent your knees and placed your legs over Jongdae’s shoulders. You didn’t even have time to register what was going on before he swiftly entered you and buried himself to the stilt, his length feeling strangely invasive as you adjusted to the way it felt inside of you.

You blinked a few times, momentarily frozen due to the magnitude of the situation. 

There was no way back now. 

Jongdae was inside of you, exactly how you’d told yourself all these years that you shouldn’t allow to happen, and yet you already knew you were never going to forget this exact moment. You sighed. Whether he knew it or not, you were going to be his forever. 

When you looked up at him, he was staring intently at you, his eyes still slightly glassy, an eager smile on his face.

“You ok?” He asked, and as he said that, he gave one long slow thrust that made your head spin and your hands grab onto him with more force, while making this whole thing feel extremely intimate for the first time, all of a sudden.

You simply nodded, your eyes open wide, feeling way too sober to look at him directly. You grabbed his hair and pulled him towards your neck so you wouldn’t have to look him in the eyes, and he promptly started kissing and sucking on it in between big moans.

Damn, he really was loud.

He started thrusting slowly at first, trying to adapt to a rhythm you hadn’t yet decided on. To his credit, he was paying attention to each of your movements, each of your gasps, and frowning at the fact that you didn’t seem to be as vocal as before. You couldn’t blame him for that when the effects of the alcohol you’d drank were quickly dissipating. Plus it wasn’t like you weren’t feeling every inch of him inside of you, like each of his thrusts weren’t sending electric currents along your entire body, the friction a lot better than you’d ever imagined.

Of course he’d be better than you’d ever imagined. It was like he was determined to ruin your life that night.

You shook and shivered under him as pleasure slowly invaded your whole body, making your head feel dizzy again. The uncomfortable pressure you’d been feeling in your gut from all the anxiety was quickly dissolving now, easily overpowered by the intense arousal that was melting you from the inside. Oh, it felt so great to finally surrender to your cravings and be touched by him, to taste him in you mouth, to feel his hands, his skin, on yours… His kisses were delicious, his hands soft and gentle, and his dick had already found a sweet spot inside you and was relentlessly sending wave after wave of pleasure along your entire body. He was perfect. It felt like he was made for you, like he knew exactly how to touch you to make you forget about anything other than him. You started moaning with abandon, enamored with him, his body and his raw voice.

“God, _baby_ , you’re so good. So good for me.”

The pet name sounded, again, extremely foreing coming from his lips, but he didn’t seem to find any problem in using it constantly. He moaned even louder when you dragged your nails down his back, his thrusting increased in intensity.

“Do you like it, baby?” He kept saying, as he glided in and out of you. His voice was almost pornographic, the exertion evident in the way he was clenching his jaw, his breathing hard. “Are you going to cum?”

Your head was way too dizzy to even process his questions. You could only moan and beg.

“Jongdae… don’t stop.” 

You allowed yourself to moan his name, just this once, just to see how it’d sound on your tongue. Would he notice you’d been wanting to say it for a long time? 

“Please, Jongdae, don’t stop. Fuck me, harder.”

“Yes, scream for me, baby.” He said, and you could hear the satisfaction in his voice, his breathing ragged from the exertion. “Say my name. Let everybody hear how good I’m fucking you. Let them know you’re mine. You like it, don’t you? Let them hear you. God, you’re so fucking hot.”

He smiled at you, and you felt the tension inside of you start to rapidly build every time he hit that spot with each of his powerful thrusts. Pleasure was invading all of your senses, and Jongdae could see it.

"Yes, cum for me, baby. Cum hard on my cock.”

His smile had never looked more captivating. The tension inside you reached its peak, and you tipped over the edge with a desperate cry that tore at the bottom of your throat. You forced yourself to keep your eyes open while you clenched around him, your entire body shaking with the intensity of your orgasm, not wanting to miss any of the expressions on his face while he watched you. 

“Jongdae, Jongdae, Jongdae…!” You gasped, your nails digging into the skin of his back. 

This would only happen once, after all.

Jongdae kept bucking into you after your orgasm had subsided, his smile still unfaltering, his hips picking up the pace he’d dropped to watch you. It took you a while to start moving again in rhythm with him, completely spent after your orgasm, but you eventually started swaying your hips again, determined to reciprocate all the pleasure he’d just given you. He deserved just as much, you figured, with how kind and considerate he was. 

With your mind a lot clearer now, you continued moaning for him, noticing how much he seemed to like it, gasping his name like you’d done when you’d come. His thrusting soon started faltering, and you watched with attention, to try and preserve as many memories of his ragged breathing, sweat-covered face, and straining muscles as you could.

Jongdae came inside of you, spilling nonsensical words and “fuck me”, “yes” and “baby” like a mantra, in a raw, hoarse voice. He eventually slowed his movements until he finally stopped to try and regain his breath. You watched him as his body still shook from time to time, his facial expression extraordinarily soft in your eyes. 

When you lowered your legs, he let himself fall on top of you, his arms still holding his weight so as not to crush you, and he rested his forehead against yours. You stared at his closed eyelids and let yourself marvel at the softness of his expression and his ragged breath, while you rejoiced in the intimacy of your current position until, after a few seconds, he pushed himself off of you with a noisy huff. 

You fell asleep shorty after.

**3\. The morning after**

When you opened your eyes the next morning you didn’t recognize the room at first. The walls weren’t the same color you were used to, the morning sunlight was coming from the wrong side… It took you a few seconds of drowsy puzzlement to realize you were in Jongdae’s bedroom, sleeping in Jongdae’s bed, and then the memories from the night before came suddenly to you like a giant wave, drowning you in regret. Your head was pounding from the hangover.

You really had had sex with Jongdae last night, hadn’t you. 

You turned your head to the side. Jongdae was sound asleep next to you with his chest bare, his limbs spread in all directions, and his mouth inelegantly agape. 

You felt your stomach churn at the sight.

Last night had been incredible. One of your top 5 orgasms for sure. Who knew Jongdae was that dexterous? You should have expected it. Now there was no way you would ever forget it, no matter how hard you tried.

You covered your eyes from the sunlight with your hand, and pressed on your lids and temples to try and lessen the prickling you were beginning to feel behind your eyes. Your breathing was becoming more agitated too. How could you have been so stupid as to succumb to your yearning like this?

When you calmed down a little after a few short minutes, you looked around the room for a clock to check the time. You were relieved to find out it was early enough that most of his flatmates wouldn’t have woken up yet. You had to act quickly.

You carefully exited the bed and looked for your clothes, that were laying on the floor all around the room. You got dressed in as much silence as you could while you drew your exit plan in your head. You still needed to get your coat and your handbag, which should be laying around somewhere in the living room.

You went down the stairs as slowly as you could, watching out for any possible wood creaking sound. You quickly located your stuff resting on top of an armchair near the front door of the house. You sighed in relief.

“Hey!”

You almost had a heart attack when you heard Minseok’s voice from behind you. You turned around to look at him. He stepped outside of the kitchen looking neatly groomed and dressed, all prim and proper already at this time of the morning, even though you recalled seeing him pretty wasted at the party last night. What the hell? He looked back awkwardly at you for a few seconds. You were sure your face had turned white at his call.

“Do… you want some coffee?” He offered, lifting his mug for you to see.

“Uhh…” You hesitated for a second and then gave him your best fake smile. “No, thank you! I’m just picking up my things. I really have to go. It’s super late already! Bye!”

And with this, you left Jongdae’s house.

You weren’t able to hold back your tears on your way home. You covered your face in any way you could to hide yourself from the people walking past you on the street, since you were sure you were a complete mess, with your unkempt hair, your congested face and still wearing the wrinkled costume from the day before.

You kept replaying all of last night in your head.

If you were very lucky, maybe Jongdae wouldn’t remember anything when he woke up, but you didn’t think he’d been drunk enough last night for that to happen.

You couldn’t stop thinking of all the things you could’ve done differently to avoid this happening.

You could’ve asked Sehun to watch that movie with him, for example. You could’ve pushed Jongdae away when he hugged you, told him you weren’t “his girl” in front of everybody. You could’ve just let that girl talk to Jongdae. You could’ve simply told Jongdae the truth about how you really didn’t mind Sehun taking an interest in you. 

You could’ve not kissed Jongdae back.

Wasn’t it all your fault? You knew Jongdae behaved pretty much like a horny teenager sometimes. His expressionless eyes when he’d first kissed you wouldn’t leave your mind. He’d proved that he was only satisfying an urge with you; an urge so great it had surpassed any kind of boundary he could’ve set for him and you.

And that was what you feared the most. It had you wondering nonstop. How much did he actually care for you, as a friend? It was starting to seem like your friendship wasn’t valuable enough for him to just keep it in his pants. You felt your eyes start to water again at this thought. How, after so many years…? But then again, it had been your fault as much as it’d been his, because your beloved Jongdae… Funny, prankster, laidback Jongdae… You knew you did care about him, but what if he tried to act as if nothing happened? As if it hadn’t been a big deal at all? What if, the next time you saw him, he wouldn’t even mention any of it? Or worse, what if he wanted to repeat it again sometime? Would you be able to say no? You didn’t think so. You were stupid. Weak and stupid. There was really no other words to describe what you’d done.

The look your flatmate gave you as soon as you crossed the main door for your shared apartment spoke for itself.

“I can’t believe you fucked Jongdae last n–!!” She started yelling while running towards you along the hallway, but stopped herself after seeing your reddened face and tearful eyes. “What’s wrong?”

Instead of answering right away, you started to cry. 

It was a long morning, filled with crying, regret, and so many questions. Your housemate did her best to comfort you, although it was of little use with how little you disclosed to her.

There was no way you’d confess to anybody how in love you’d been with Jongdae for the past years. You had already made enough of a fool of yourself.

Nearing midday, your heart almost leaped out of your chest when you heard a familiar beep from your phone. 

_[Dae: can we talk? (12:08)]_

You stared at the message preview for what felt like hours before you opened it, not wanting the “read” notification to pop up on his phone. You already knew what to answer to that. You just weren’t sure you were ready for it yet. You wished you could wait to write your reply until the anxiety in your gut went away, but that probably wouldn’t happen until you talked to him.

You got up from the sofa to wash your face. As you looked at your reddened eyes and pathetic expression on the bathroom mirror you could only think that, at the very least, he wasn’t ignoring everything.

He probably wanted to continue being your friend, you figured. And he deserved as much, you thought. After all, you were so deeply into him you probably couldn’t even deny him that. 

You breathed deeply and finally opened the message. You typed your answer: “ _sure_ ”. His reply came immediately.

_[Dae: go downstairs in 15 min, im on my way (13:56)]_

You weren’t expecting to see such a soft look in his eyes when you finally spotted him, sitting under a yellowing tree in front of your building, waiting for you to come down, his soft caramel hair flowing in the breeze, his shoulders slouched in defeat, his fingers playing with the seams of his jeans. He was wearing your favorite sweater, the one who complemented his skin so wonderfully. He looked so gentle you could already feel your walls crumbling down again. You would never be able to stop being drawn to him, you thought. That’s how fucking stupid you were.

It was awkward when you stepped up closer to him and he waved his hand at you instead of hugging you like he usually did.

“I’ve been irresponsible.” He said, unprompted, his eyes very serious.

His words felt soothing as soon as you heard them. For him to acknowledge his mistake from last night was already more than you had expected. You were glad he wouldn’t attempt to beat around the bush. Even if you still didn’t know which direction this conversation was about to take, at least you could sincerely agree with his words.

“Me too.” You replied. And then you fell silent, wanting to hear what else he had to say.

“I didn’t want to make things awkward between us… but I don’t regret what happened yesterday.” He continued.

The words felt like a needle in your heart. Jongdae cared about you, and your feelings, to a certain extent. But of course he didn’t regret it. Jongdae never regretted anything. Much less another name on his never-ending list of quick flings. You felt your eyes begin to water again. _Fuck._

“I’m not sure I can say the same thing.” You mumbled. You wondered exactly how you were going to explain why you were so upset without disclosing your feelings to him.

His face paled at your words and he started gaping like a fish out of the water, as if he was really surprised that you felt that way.

“What?? Don– don’t say that…” He panicked. “You don’t really mean that, right?”

“It’s not that difficult to understand.” You replied, only slightly miffed. “Last night was a mistake. It shouldn’t have happened and I preferred if we could act as if it never happened.”

His face kept falling in disbelief.

“What?? Look, let’s not rush things, okay?” He said, making an appeasing gesture with his hands. “You know I respect you. You’ve always been off-limits territory for me, because I value our friendship. Last night wasn’t a mistake for me. A bit crazy, maybe, but not a mistake.”

You scoffed.

“No offense, but you tend to think with your dick, and we both know it.” You said.

To your surprise, Jongdae looked sincerely hurt at your words, his facial expression falling into the most serious face you’d seen on him in a very long while.

“Is that what you think of me?” He asked, his voice noticeably sour.

You leveled up your eyes with his, your unflinching gaze boldly rivaling his hurt one. You had nothing else to add. Nothing to explain. Yes, that was what you thought. He surely wouldn’t expect you to recount the many romantic affairs he’d had during the past few years.

“Right. I might.” He finally agreed, abruptly, after seeing how you weren’t answering him. He straightened his posture and his eyes turned cold when he looked at you. “I know I’m not the best at relationship stuff. I’ve never even been in one that lasted more than a month.” He paused for a moment, like he was looking for the right words. “But… none of that means I’m not able to care for someone. I care about you.” His voice wavered at the last word, and he looked down, then up again, waiting for you to say something.

How did any of that change anything? Of course he cared about you, he was your best friend! That still didn’t mean best friends can’t make mistakes!

“I know you do!” You whined. The frustration you felt was only increasing, and yet you tried to come up with the words to soothe the offense you’d earlier made. “I just… know that you’re usually… you know… such an easygoing person, like, you’re joking all the time, and all that…. And I’m not like that.” You explained. “Sometimes things affect me, you know? I can’t go on as if nothing happened.”

Ah, fuck your life, why was it so hard to hold an argument with anybody without crying?

Jongdae just stood there in silence, for what felt like ages, just looking at you with a frown on his face. He kept clenching and unclenching his fists. The sight was entirely unusual on someone as easygoing as him. 

“Look,” he finally began, his voice uncharacteristically shaky.

You looked at him. He stuttered a few times before he found the right words.

“Yesterday, when I saw you arrive with Oh Sehun…” He swallowed thickly when his eyes met yours and then shut up. “A-and then he kept looking at you the entire evening…” he added.

You blinked. There was a certain tinge of bitterness in his words, in his expression. You felt your mouth go dry.

“Yeah?” You pressed.

He hesitated.

“We’ve known each… other for so long…” His voice was almost imperceptibly trembling. You probably wouldn’t have noticed if you didn’t know him so well. “If there’s anyone I think I could make it work out with that’s definitely you.”

You held your breath at his words. He wasn’t really saying that, was he?

“If you trust me, that is.” He added, his words, increasingly overflowing with anxiety.

You wouldn’t speak, so he continued.

“If you think I’m not boyfriend material… if you really think last night was a mistake then I’ll… I don’t know. All I know is I don’t want to lose you.”

There was a long silence between you, during which Jongdae simply looked at you, a dreadful look on his face, brow creased with worry, mouth frowning, just waiting for you to say something.

Your heart was beating frantically. Were you hallucinating or had Jongdae just confessed to you?

You looked down at the tip of your shoes, noticing your vision had become blurry with tears. Did he really mean what he’d just said? Since when did he feel that way? It had to be a joke. Why else had he never told you, then? How else could he hook up with so many girls? 

“Well, me neither.” You finally whispered the only words you could confidently utter. Of course you didn’t want to lose him —the only person you could tell everything to— , as a friend. You were glad at least you were on the same page about that. You heard Jongdae exhale in relief. 

His next words were barely audible, although you weren’t sure if it was because of the noise in your brain or because of some other reason.

“Then, please, talk to me. Let me fix this. That’s all I’m asking of you.”

He approached you slowly, like you were a frightened bird he didn’t want to scare away, and carefully put his hands on your shoulders, softly, barely touching you at all.

You still said nothing, even if you had a thousand questions you wanted to ask him. And you berated yourself for staying silent when he was right in asking you to tell him what was on your mind. He deserved as much, too, just from the way he was watching you, trying to understand your feelings while letting you know where he stood, even if he wasn’t great with words.

You held a shaky breath.

“Have I ever let you down?” He murmured.

His words came crashing onto you like a giant wave, and you felt your heart clench. The question echoed in your head. You knew your walls had already crumbled down when you’d seen him anxiously waiting for you under that tree, or maybe when he’d sent you the first worried text message.

You had to be honest with yourself. He’d never really done you wrong. He’d always been a tower of strength to you, always standing right by your side, always offering you his support, his understanding. He cared about you more than anyone, and he’d proved it time and time again. You were foolish in pretending otherwise.

He was your best friend for a reason.

Suddenly, you felt the corners of your mouth pulling upwards, the pressure in your chest dissipating. Finding no way, and no real need to hold back your smile, you shook your head. You tried to come up with something to say. The atmosphere was feeling heavy and charged, and you hated it. You knew he hated it even more, so you answered the first thing that came to your mind.

“That one time you promised to sing _Bohemian Rapsody_ at the karaoke with me and then you left because Minseok messaged you about a game on discount.”

“Come on, it was a one time offer!”

You could hear the smile in Jongdae’s voice, and it felt soothing. He had placed a finger under your chin and was gently lifting it, making you look at him. His hand then cupped your face, a tender look in his eyes.

“Will you give me a chance?” He asked, softly. “Be my girlfriend.”

You tried to dry your tears with the back of your hand, still not daring to look at him directly in the eyes, still way too incredulous about this new development to do so.

“Please?” Jongdae insisted, waiting to hear your answer, optimism now evident in his voice.

“Okay.” You breathed. “I will.” And there was a slight flutter in your words when you added: “Let’s do this.”

You finally dared to look at him, a sweet look in his eyes as he gazed at you. And this time, when he started to gently lower his head to kiss you for a second time, you were able to smile right back at him, at your best friend.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my fic! I hope you enjoyed it! Don't hesitate to let me know if that's the case!
> 
> I personally believe the ending was a bit too rushed, with Reader being on the verge of tears one moment, yet happily joking with Jongdae the next, so I might edit that later, whenever I feel inspired to (which might not be soon).


End file.
